Wiping a Bogie on Someone. Ewwww.
Wiping a bogie on someone is the best expression I have come across for the phenomenon of behaving so badly that we get ourselves dumped or fired whilst claiming full victim status.
This is absolutely not to be confused with victim blaming. There is arguably some overlap with self sabotaging behaviours. The phenomenon of wiping bogies can likely be found in the abusers' handbook.
For the purposes of a one minute blog we'll keep it very simple.
When we find ourselves in a situation - a romantic relationship, a work or professional situation or a friendship, we no longer want to be in our desire to no longer be part of a situation can be conscious or subconscious.
If we are wiping bogies, we then engage in a campaign of behaviour so poor that the other party is really left with little option other than to dump us or fire us. Whoop, whoop! We are free from the unwanted situation.
With our victim status firmly in our grasp we get to occupy the moral high ground because clearly the person who dumped or fired us is the bad guy.
We have, deliberately or more likely subconsciously, removed ourselves from an unwanted situation without taking any responsibility or ownership for our own wishes or behaviours.
Be brave. Own what you want. Take responsibility. We are allowed to change our minds about relationships, about work, about anything. Don't wipe bogies.